“Holidays” generally frustrate me. What meaning most may have actually had have generally been engulfed by marketing and the incessant need to capitalize on any possibility to make a dime. It makes me a both a little sad and a little angry that every holiday seems to now just be the next big cash grab.
Now for the part that most men out there will love and many women will cringe at…Valentine’s Day is perhaps the worst of them! Do you really need a day of the year for society’s expectations to remind your significant other that with flowers and candy and perhaps a nice dinner out that you love them? Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the idea of ensuring you set aside that day to spend extra time together, but for me it is has become a day to exploit your bank account, and guilt you into spending more.
I believe I wrote about my husband’s efforts last year, with him renting a condo for the evening in out building and us spending an amazing night together. Now yes, there was a fair amount of money spent on that, but there was such amazing thought in it that it was simply amazing. Having just had our child at the start of the year, the fact that he arranged a night out alone while still being close to her to ease my mind…words can not describe how thoughtful of a gift that was. So this year I figured it was my turn to do something special. That’s right ladies…equality means doing this type of thing works BOTH ways. A wise friend “Love her as if there is someone working 24 hours to take her from you.” That to, and the expression of that love, works both ways.
So then it was off to put thought into what to do on our special lil day, without caving to all of the expected norms. Well, it starts off with the easy one…I wake up at midnight and perform, erm, happy time on him…some say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, I am a firm believer it is through his cock…c’mon…you all know it is true. It was pretty cute really, I did my thing and he clearly felt obligated to reciprocate, but I simply ushered him back to sleep. He was very confused. Happy, but confused. Good start imo…selflessly bringing pleasure/happiness to my man.
So then I actually managed to wake up before him. That may sound easy, but I think it is the first time it has ever happened aside from the odd time he had a really late night. He generally wakes up to the slightest movement, but he swears he did not this time, even though I sill half think he may have been playing along to appease me. So I made him a nice little breakfast in bed…nothing crazy, because I knew he would wake up, but it is the thought that counts on this right? Then back to the easy part…more happy time.
So we got moving and I let him know that he needed to dress warm for the day, we dropped the kiddo off at friends, and headed out. My husband is pretty athletic. He is a exercise freak, even more than I am. He has played countless sports, either organized or recreational, but being originally from a warm climate he has never played hockey…he has never even skated. Well, an interesting tidbit about my husband is that he has Permanent Resident status, but is not actually a citizen here. Recently he has been talking a lot about getting his citizenship, primarily because we do have a child now, and it will make any potential legal issues easier to work with if something happens to me, but he is also doing some inner searching and evaluating if he wants to have dual citizenship, or renounce his US status and have just one..a little more to think about still. At any rate, he is actually a bit of a hockey fan, and that has grown a lot in his time in Canada, and he continually jokes that he can’t be a true Canadian because he doesn’t know how to play hockey. So, enter my gift for the day…I took him skating. Now I used to be a pretty good skater, and physio is going very well, but wow…it sure looked like 2 people that have never skated before! Of course we fell a bunch, and of course the bugger found out quickly that skating is apparently just one more damned thing he is good at, and before long he was holding me up. I am still pretty proud of my effort, and really impressed at how fast he picked it up, even though it pissed me of a little at the same time. lol
The public rink of choice here is a wonderful venue down at the riverfront. The park stretches for miles along it, and truly is amazing…stunning scenery. We walked around a bit as the light snow turned into what was eventually like a foot of snow…bloody hell…and found a little concession stand that we grabbed some hotdogs at and some yummy elephant ears….my first elephant ear will NOT be my last…yummy. We eventually settled on a nice bench overlooking the park and river, and sat there sipping on hot chocolate I brought from home until the sun set and cast a beautiful glow over our little winter wonderland. It was like a scene from one of those little snow globes…just amazing.
We eventually made it home and had a light supper and sipped on some wine from the fruit in our yard. He gave me a new painting that I had eyeballed a couple weeks back at a flee market. Then, of course, evening happy time.
My point of all of this is pretty simple really; We had a day of thought filled giving and experiences without caving to the normal expectations that the day brings. He organized the day last year, and I organized it this year. It doesn’t matter for us the physical gifts given, as the only physical gift passed on over the past 2 years was a $15 painting…a painting that he remembered me loving and went back to get. Sure, maybe next year we will end up doing a more traditional dinner out or something, maybe not. We do the evenings out, and suppers and ensure that we have lots of “us’ time, so I don’t really see that happening. For us, this is but one instance over the year that we think of something that will touch each other’s heart and soul, and create a memory that no bouquet of flowers ever can.